Change

It’s been quite the week. Let me recap first, then see where this goes;

• Recorded my third album, but not sure if I fully believe in the music yet

• Recovered from Jetlag from Japan (was there visiting my 90 year old grandmother)

• Told my other grandmother I’m engaged (was a big deal for her)

• Heard that my 3rd (adopted) grandmother is about to pass away.

• Got insanely tilted playing competitive video games for more hours than I care to admit

• Played potentially my last gig at Birdland after nearly six years of weekly residency (29 years for the band).

• Submitted grades for my first classes as a teacher at The New School.

• Cried five times rewatching Bowen Yang’s exit sketch from SNL

  • (I was there live and played in the band for said sketch during dress rehearsal

  • Finally starting to process after half a season (Since October) that I get to be part of the historic SNL legacy. Bowen was the first East-Asian American full cast member and I’m the first in the house band.

This week has forced me to reflect on and process the reality of impermanence. Ends and beginnings are the same thing and we shouldn’t fear them. This concept took a while to fully grasp because as an optimistic person, seeing an end as a beginning has always come easier than seeing beginnings as ends. That said, the events of this week have taught me how beautiful goodbyes can be.

Goodbyes are how we say thank you and how we let go. Letting go is paramount in taming our ego. When left unchecked, our ego becomes hungry for self-worth and external validation.

TL;DR— Goodbyes are hellos in disguise. Trying to define yourself is a waste of time. Do what brings you joy and when change inevitably comes, listen to the changes.